So.....we here in Washington decided to list the top10 reasons why
DOGS ARE BETTER PETS THAN TURTLES......
- Dogs have fur.....Turtles have shells....When a dog curls up next to you at night, they are warm, furry and cuddly. When a turtle curls up to you at night......oh....nevermind that would never happen.
- One word......FRISBEE.......Whats a turtle going to do with that?
- Stay with me here... Dogs require a yearly vet visit. Yes, this costs money and its a hassle to get an appointment . Then, when you arrive, you end up dragging your dog through the front door while he pulls back at you with all of his weight because he KNOWS its the Vets office and DOES NOT WANT THEM TOUCHING HIM. True......but there's an Up-side.....For a few moments, your famous in that vets office. If the staff is worth their mustard, they are working to calm the poor tortured canine and complimenting you on the utter cuteness of your terrified pooch. Does that happen with a turtle? I think not. They come in a box, look like a hubcap.
- When you scratch a dog under the chin, his tail wags......WHERE IS A TURTLE'S CHIN HALF THE TIME?
- Two words....DOG PARK.....a turtle wouldn't last 5 minutes.
- You can teach a dog to sit, stay and fetch. According to Michael J. Firth,...you can teach your dog 100 words. What can you teach a turtle? Maybe, just maybe, after years of trying...you can get the little guy to take a piece of lettuce out of your hand. WOO HOO
- Turtles can not stick their tongues out like dogs can. Think about it. No licking, No grooming, they don't slobber after slurping up a huge amount of water.......how boring.
- Two more words....."Home Security". Studies have shown that MOST would-be burglars are turned around by the sound of a dog barking. Unfortunately, turtles have not developed their skills in this area and are still unable to replicate the sound of a 90 pound Rottweiler. (As a side note - we might as well have had a turtle. We think our dog not even invited the hoodlums in, but offered them refreshments:).
- The Reverse Sneeze - Anyone who has witnessed this phenomenon can tell you that its probably one of the funniest things their dog has ever done. Its unclear whether it's the look of surprise on the dogs face when these little fits hit or the spontaneous eruption of gas from the back end that often accompanies them....but its definately comical.
- Finally.....Fur. Yes, we curse it, we wash it, we comb it, we hate rolling it off of our furniture every spring and fall. It sticks to our black clothing. It defines us as dog owners in that it ends up in our cars, on our purses, stuck to our jackets. But.....when properly cared for, it's soft and warm and fuzzy and fun to pet.
Oh yeah...and if you need anything to take care of that fur....check us out www.Xfleas.com!
Okay X-fleas, I’ve been waiting for someone to rebut this nonsense, but since the ACLU is apparently too busy, I guess I’ll have to do it.
ReplyDeleteMy 10 reasons why turtles are better than dogs.
Turtles are better than dogs because:
1. Turtles almost never chase cars. And when they do, at least they don’t yap while they’re doing it.
2. Nine times out of ten, when the mailman gets bit, it wasn’t the turtle.
3. Fleas fall right off ‘em.
4. When you flip a turtle upside down and give the command “STAY,” it stays!
5. You can’t crack open a walnut with a dog (or open a beer.)
6. When turtles wag their tails, stuff doesn’t get knocked off the coffee table.
7. No need for ID tags or expensive chip implants with a turtle. You can just write your phone number on him with a Sharpie®.
8. Backing over the turtle in the driveway isn’t always followed by a tearful funeral in the back yard. Sometimes they’re good as new with just a little Formula 409® to take off the tire marks.
9. And when that fateful day does come when the family gathers in the back yard with a shovel …hey it comes in it’s own handy burying box!
10. Two words ….“Turtle Wax” ….It would be a pretty dull world without it.
"Pet parents know how stressful it can be when your furry friend falls sick at odd hours. That’s where Vets & Care steps in with reliable, fast, and affordable online vet consultations. 🐾 No more waiting in long queues or rushing during emergencies—expert advice is now available from the comfort of your home.
ReplyDelete✨ Book your session here: Vets & Care Online Vet Consultation"
"Caring for your pet just got easier! 🐶🐱 With the Vets & Care app, you can connect with licensed veterinarians instantly, track your pet’s health, and manage everything from vaccinations to expenses—all in one place. Whether it’s an emergency or a routine checkup, expert help is now just a click away.
ReplyDelete👉 Download the Vets & Care App and give your furry friend the care they deserve!"
Connect with a dog vet online consultation Delhi instantly.
ReplyDelete